Photo by Mitch Lensink on Unsplash

Don’t try to Reach Out! When lonely.

If you are going through a tough time. And finding yourself strangled in own thoughts. Feeling lonely & depressed with a chain of certain events happening to you or someone close to you. Every time you try to reach out for the help people tries to judge you & then give you some tags. Labels like: you are desperate, depressed, introvert, creep, stalker, or living life in a shallow world. They never try to listen, watch or consider your condition. Everyone is lost in the streams of social interaction which keeps us engaged & half-minded attention in their own thoughts.

We express our emotions with stories & status on the social platform. Waiting for someone to decode it & reach out to you. Some people will reach with a preset mindset which already had a perception about you. Their views about you will only be going to increase your frustration or make you no longer interested in the conversation. Such things will end up with an agreement that satisfies the person's pre-set mindset. And leave you with certain more delusions.

Why we take indirect ways to express what we want to say? And why things can’t be simple?

  • We are afraid to lose them.
  • We feel shyness/shame to say things that are inside our heads.
  • We don’t trust them.
  • Lack of self-esteem & feeling of affection
  • We don’t know why we are troubled
  • We are expecting some specific people to reach out us

Some proportion of the above points might be the reason that made simple things complicated. And the modern era of post/stories/status is the holy grail of complexity. Where we try to keep up with a fake image & hold our trueness within yourself.

What do we expect from others?

Empathy: the word we have heard & read about. We haven’t learned or practiced this term in reality. No one has ever taught us to apply with others when it comes to supporting them. Instead, we hear their philosophical statements; everyone is dealing with some problems in life. Agreed, but it won’t help the person with depression. It will act as full-stop to the flow of his emotion that is being shared with you. Time will heal everything. Again true in every sense. The person you are trying to help is always aware of such things. But right now his mindset is strangled in a barbed wire of thoughts & broken relations. The person you are seeking is not able to visualize your condition in that case reaching out to him/her won’t make sense. Having high hopes and expectations might make the situation worse.

Connect with new people/make friends

Low self-esteem and poor interaction has to lead you to this position.
If he/she can connect easily with people won’t they be in such a state? Where they need to reach out. They will have enough company to share & express. Engage in something that can take your mind off the thought will help. Try to find things you haven’t tried or able to pursue before. It won’t solve the real problem but give you the time which will make your mind calm and help you think.

Writing it out and identify patterns of your problem

Sometimes we are repeating the same mistakes with the same mindset. We need to emphasize on problem better and see patterns like people's patterns, situational patterns or behavioral patterns. Such as You feel depressed when people ignore you or your messages. Your reactions to person action are the same every time.

You won’t be able to identify until you write them. Some external factors affecting you can’t be handled with this approach. Agreed, but it can make you prepare to deal with it or clear your mind.

Find your source of inspiration.

Something or someway that can keep you on the track, every time something like this hits you. It shouldn’t be a person but comes from within you. It may be in any format or form, but the inception of that source should be from your own self. People are temporary and unpredictable. Your mindset and source of inspiration will always find you.




#redhatter #opensource #developer #kubernetes #keycloak #golang #openshift #quarkus #spring

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Abhishek koserwal

Abhishek koserwal

#redhatter #opensource #developer #kubernetes #keycloak #golang #openshift #quarkus #spring

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